Praise
Why when bestowed with praise do I become incredibly self-conscious and often suspicious? Why is it so tough for me to take a compliment? It is not low self esteem. Self effacing, perhaps. But I acknowledge I have some skill in several areas. I've a level of confidence about my intellect and appearance. Why can't I just take a comment at face value without suddenly becoming critical?
Mostly my drive at self improvement I suppose.
Those general blanketed compliments are the worst. Work described as wonderful, great, impressive. That personally I am smart, beautiful or kind. Vague. The lack of creativity seems to lack sincerity.
I know, I know most of you mean it!
I've become far too cynical. But honestly, where is the motivation for me to push my designs further if what I bring to the table is already great. I have a hard enough time with motivation and procrastination. I'm receiving positive reinforcement for what, in my opinion, is a half-assed job, accomplished without really trying and just under the deadline.
Everywhere I go people seem to fearful of hurting others feelings. Of course I'm a huge hypocrite in that regard. Perhaps I don't give people enough credit, assuming they are thin skinned and will go off and sulk if the wrong button is pushed instead of taking it with a grain of salt and deciding for themselves if the critic is even worth acknowledging. I hated grading my student's homework. Particularly when the class was very subjective. Unlike spelling, there's no hard and fast rule about the correct way to put on makeup. How does one balance the right amount of compliment and praise to keep the student encouraged in their skill level while pointing towards what they can improve. Except for the occasional negative reaction to a letter grade my students always took the comments in stride and most of them took critiques to heart and did improve. Not disheartened by but they didn't have right the first time.
I prefer the criticism. It is easy for me to take the negative and transform into something constructive. As much as a comment about my weight stung at the time, I turned it around and dropped 30 off pounds the next year. I assure you grad school and the lack of time to buy groceries let along sleep had nothing to do with it!
But in all of my exit interviews, follow-ups, my thesis jury even for crying out loud, it was all great work, we loved having you, good job. Sometimes they elaborated on what they liked the most. Okay, that's a step, but why change what was really liked...what was wrong with everything else? How can I improve? Push?
Fine fine. Next time someone tells me I have a nice smile, I'll smile all the larger. And stop being so hard on life.
Mostly my drive at self improvement I suppose.
Those general blanketed compliments are the worst. Work described as wonderful, great, impressive. That personally I am smart, beautiful or kind. Vague. The lack of creativity seems to lack sincerity.
I know, I know most of you mean it!
I've become far too cynical. But honestly, where is the motivation for me to push my designs further if what I bring to the table is already great. I have a hard enough time with motivation and procrastination. I'm receiving positive reinforcement for what, in my opinion, is a half-assed job, accomplished without really trying and just under the deadline.
Everywhere I go people seem to fearful of hurting others feelings. Of course I'm a huge hypocrite in that regard. Perhaps I don't give people enough credit, assuming they are thin skinned and will go off and sulk if the wrong button is pushed instead of taking it with a grain of salt and deciding for themselves if the critic is even worth acknowledging. I hated grading my student's homework. Particularly when the class was very subjective. Unlike spelling, there's no hard and fast rule about the correct way to put on makeup. How does one balance the right amount of compliment and praise to keep the student encouraged in their skill level while pointing towards what they can improve. Except for the occasional negative reaction to a letter grade my students always took the comments in stride and most of them took critiques to heart and did improve. Not disheartened by but they didn't have right the first time.
I prefer the criticism. It is easy for me to take the negative and transform into something constructive. As much as a comment about my weight stung at the time, I turned it around and dropped 30 off pounds the next year. I assure you grad school and the lack of time to buy groceries let along sleep had nothing to do with it!
But in all of my exit interviews, follow-ups, my thesis jury even for crying out loud, it was all great work, we loved having you, good job. Sometimes they elaborated on what they liked the most. Okay, that's a step, but why change what was really liked...what was wrong with everything else? How can I improve? Push?
Fine fine. Next time someone tells me I have a nice smile, I'll smile all the larger. And stop being so hard on life.
posted by Unknown at
4:04 PM
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