The masochism of sitting still
Yesterday I had my two hours of zen. I haven't modeled since I left NJ. This was refreshing. And I believe I left the class a little high, due to the aura of turpentine that enveloped the room.
I knew going it that this was an oil painting class...gesture poses and shorts would be out of the question. We dove right into 20 minute poses. Without the shorter warm-ups.
Let me clarify for the reader...sitting still is not easy. Particularly when you have two poses. And you switch between the two multiple times. A reclined pose, knees bent and feet pushed up against the wall. A sitting pose... perched really...looking down on my previous pose. After 20 minutes going back to a previous pose and trying to decipher the tape marks the professor placed to maintain consistency...attempts to strike the pose again.
No. Modeling is not easy. No. You do not just sit and zone out. When a pose I become painfully aware of my body. The first five to seven minutes...a mentally inventory...what is my foot pressed against, how is my forearm crossing the back of the chair, what angle is my knee at, am I tensed anywhere, is there a twist in my back or a jaunt to my hip. Noticing my body in the physical space helps to maintain the pose throughout the time. And the mental checklist created helps me recreate the pose later.
But about seven minutes into it...the masochism kicks in. At once it seems as if my entire being throws itself into a heightened state of lucidness. The scent of turpentine becomes unbearable...I can feel myself tearing up ever so slightly...muscles began to ache, twitch, all magnified in the stillness...a tickle forms....that bead of sweat on my back makes a painfully slow journey downward...the cough in the back of my throat fights to come forward. And my person is bound in the promise of stillness not to react. And I love it.
The students and professor do too...
It finally dawned on me why I make a good model...why they ask me back...or ask me where I've been all semester. It is not the physical body. Not my appearance. It is the level at which the model is engaged in the pose. A model aware will hold all the more still.
I knew going it that this was an oil painting class...gesture poses and shorts would be out of the question. We dove right into 20 minute poses. Without the shorter warm-ups.
Let me clarify for the reader...sitting still is not easy. Particularly when you have two poses. And you switch between the two multiple times. A reclined pose, knees bent and feet pushed up against the wall. A sitting pose... perched really...looking down on my previous pose. After 20 minutes going back to a previous pose and trying to decipher the tape marks the professor placed to maintain consistency...attempts to strike the pose again.
No. Modeling is not easy. No. You do not just sit and zone out. When a pose I become painfully aware of my body. The first five to seven minutes...a mentally inventory...what is my foot pressed against, how is my forearm crossing the back of the chair, what angle is my knee at, am I tensed anywhere, is there a twist in my back or a jaunt to my hip. Noticing my body in the physical space helps to maintain the pose throughout the time. And the mental checklist created helps me recreate the pose later.
But about seven minutes into it...the masochism kicks in. At once it seems as if my entire being throws itself into a heightened state of lucidness. The scent of turpentine becomes unbearable...I can feel myself tearing up ever so slightly...muscles began to ache, twitch, all magnified in the stillness...a tickle forms....that bead of sweat on my back makes a painfully slow journey downward...the cough in the back of my throat fights to come forward. And my person is bound in the promise of stillness not to react. And I love it.
The students and professor do too...
It finally dawned on me why I make a good model...why they ask me back...or ask me where I've been all semester. It is not the physical body. Not my appearance. It is the level at which the model is engaged in the pose. A model aware will hold all the more still.
Labels: modeling
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11:41 AM
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