Adrift
Not many things hurt more than the feeling of being abandoned...of being dumped. Unless of course you pair that feeling with betrayal or malice...but that isn't the case here.
A painful phone call...a friend, an acquaintance with whom I thought I had become quite close called to say he could no longer see me. He had found another woman with whom he wished to be exclusive. Unfortunately for me...in order for him to be 'exclusive', that meant severing any ties, friendship and all, with me. There could be no remnant of another woman. Part of it seems cowardly. But I understand.
I did like him. I DO like him. A lot.
I cannot say that I'm not hurt. I can't say this came as a complete surprise either. I knew his views on cheating, dating more than one person, etc. It wasn't something he could do. And ultimately I knew he was looking for a partner...a spouse...and that was never a commitment I could offer him. He knew that from the start.
But today, I still lost one I considered a close friend. And I do not let many people close. A part of me feels even more alone than I did before. And thousands of miles away from the shoulders I usually have to cry on.
A painful phone call...a friend, an acquaintance with whom I thought I had become quite close called to say he could no longer see me. He had found another woman with whom he wished to be exclusive. Unfortunately for me...in order for him to be 'exclusive', that meant severing any ties, friendship and all, with me. There could be no remnant of another woman. Part of it seems cowardly. But I understand.
I did like him. I DO like him. A lot.
I cannot say that I'm not hurt. I can't say this came as a complete surprise either. I knew his views on cheating, dating more than one person, etc. It wasn't something he could do. And ultimately I knew he was looking for a partner...a spouse...and that was never a commitment I could offer him. He knew that from the start.
But today, I still lost one I considered a close friend. And I do not let many people close. A part of me feels even more alone than I did before. And thousands of miles away from the shoulders I usually have to cry on.
Labels: personal, relationships
posted by Unknown at
10:37 PM
3 Comments:
What a chicken. I quote Hedwig: "What are you so afraid of?!"
Mrrr. Many hugs.
Sam- I'm sorry. That just plain sucks. If you need a shoulder.
Oh man. I don't have many friends in my town. I have Peace Corps volunteer friends the closest are two hours away, but I can't imagine how much it would suck to have a friend where you are - someone you can do things with and not just talk on the phone with. And then not have it. My sympathies. Know that you're always in our hearts and I'm pulling for you - from a long way away.
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