When work rubs you the wrong way

Dear Employees:

It has been brought to the management's attention that some
individuals throughout the company have been using foul language
during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.

Due to complaints received from some employees, this type of language
will no longer be tolerated. Therefore, a list of 10 New and
Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have been provided.

Number 1
TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

Number 2
TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.

Number 3
TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

Number 4
TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.

Number 5
TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

Number 6
TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that
INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?

Number 7
TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

Number 8
TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir/madam?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

Number 9
TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?

Number 10
TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive
INSTEAD OF: He's such a pr_ck.

Thank you,
Human Resources