Touched to Tears

The goodbyes are inevitable. As are some tears. Today were the first two performances for Romeo and Juliet. And it was after tonight's performance that the cast of young actor's found out I was leaving. And then the tears flowed...on both sides. I didn't realize my limited interaction with the cast would leave such a profound mark. They were struck...even the ones who have only been with the program for one year. I didn't expect to see so many damp checks on my behalf...nor to receive so many hugs. I still can't stop tearing up.

Lisa, my intern and apprentice was probably hit the hardest. For two years now, we've met regularly to stitch and talk. Upon hearing the news, first as murmurs and confirmations from the cast, she broke. She gave me a huge sloppy hug, weeping into my shoulder, and refusing to let go. Afterward, she disappeared backstage, and I didn't see her again before I finally departed the crowd.

Her mother spoke with me after the crowd began to thin. She expressed that I had a deeper, more profound impact on her daughter than I will probably ever fully realize. But that impact goes both ways I think...

Thinking back...back to high school, even middle school...there is always at least one mentor or teacher that leaves a deep mark. Someone you trusted. Or perhaps the one that inspired you. Maybe it was someone who had complete confidence in you. Seeing Lisa's reaction, and listening to her mother, I couldn't help but think it was my turn to be that person to someone else...I was the cheerleader, confidant, inspiration and mentor to another. It is incredible satisfying...more so than I can find words to describe. And humbling.

Shit, here come the tears again.

The youth theatre program has certainly been a high point of my time in Hawaii. The cast and interns are all so young, so devoted and so incredibly talented. And at the same time, so open and vulnerable. They refreshed my faith in the future of theatre. They reminded me why I do what I do. They were a joy to work with and a thrill to watch on stage.

And I had no idea saying goodbye would be so incredibly hard. To see how quickly teens can become attached. To know I was looked up to and appreciated. To be so thoroughly satisfied in the work accomplished and the collaboration that went into it all...I will miss them all so much.

Tomorrow will be incredibly hard. They have two more shows to do, and I will be around beforehand for hair and makeup. Two last shows. And that's that.

I cried so hard during curtain call...I'm sure some of the audience may have suspected it was the effect of the story itself...but nay...it was the dawning realization that this is it...my last show in Hawaii. And I cannot think of a better group of people to share that moment with.

Mahalo.