Overwhelmed

Everything is starting to catch up to me. Or at least the exhaustion is. I have three days left at American Players Theatre. Three days. I've been so busy with moving and wedding plans that I haven't had time to let that little fact set in. Because of the schedule at the new job, I will not be able to return to APT in the future. When I do stop to think on it...it does sadden me. A lot. I've worked with some amazing people here. This theatre , though not immune to problems like any other theatre, is very unique. The atmosphere and camaraderie is unlike any I've ever experienced. And I'm pretty positive my three seasons here not only gave me the background skills I needed to land the new job, but also the contacts that caught the eyes of the powers that be. I owe a lot to this theatre...

But moving on. Hopefully the last move for a while...

Today I drove down to Milwaukee while Ross was at work to organize what I could at my mother's house. Talk about overwhelming. I haven't really lived there since 2000...though my stuff continues to pile up over the years. I spent five hours de-piling. Sifting through years of artwork, essays, photos, day planners. Coming across long forgotten honors, awards and letters from friends. Programs from various plays I've worked on throughout the years. Binders of scripts...prompt books from when I stage managed. Clothes...black and velvets, dark colors, collars and lace...that deep brooding phase I passed through (and maybe still am in at times). Awful angst-y poetry and notebooks full of rambling emotions...so many memories...happy and sad. It was hard to stay on task. Hard to fight the urge to sit down and read the thoughts of my younger self. Hard to pass up looking at the smiling faces of friends in the past.

But my to do list is long and I only have so much time to get a lot accomplished.

The treasure though...the jewel I came across...a few note cards tucked into the program from my high school graduation. As Salutatorian I was asked to give a commencement speech, preceding the Valedictorian. Reading through it, I was amazed that something so poignant could come out of the head of an 18 year old. A confused, inexperienced teenager.

I've come a long way from the person I was almost 10 years ago now...and reading through those notes I couldn't help bu think I should probably take my own advice.

I had meant to bring the note cards with me...as to later convey the message here...but in the hurried packing mode, I left them behind. No matter. I'll find them again. I've all the time in the world now.