Set backs and time off
Work progresses quickly, though it seems whenever we are in a time crunch...the little things seems to go wrong. A sleeve is set in wrong and needs to be taken out and stitched back in 1" further back. A hem isn't put in quite evenly. The fabric you thought you had to finish a dress hasn't arrived. You think you're okay to meet deadline because it's Tuesday. You still have time to meet your Saturday deadline. And then you realize its actually Wednesday. And the work day just ended. Such is life. We plug along during the toughest week of the season. Yes tension, but optimistic, cheerful. So far the worst of the spats has been over music choices. But tis nothing new. With personalities as varied as they are, such spats were in place before the work load increased.
Of course instead of working tonight, I went to see Two-Headed. Lucky me, this was the show I was completely responsible for. Aside from a few design choices I didn't agree with, I am proud of my work. What the designer wants and my own aesthetic are two completely different things. But draping still gives me an immense sense of satisfaction. Of control. Of creation. And a relationship with the actors that many others on the tech side of theatre do not have.
I'm thrilled to be taking on the bulk of Mrs. Warren, though the amount of work is insane. Perhaps my own personal standards are too high.
But more and more, especially recently, I find work is providing more of a diversion, a distraction. A place to focus my mind for nine plus hours of the day. I refuse to rot in front of a TV. Rather be stimulated by the problems of a particular costume. But a diversion from the problems of life nonetheless. Absence from loved ones. No housing set up for three weeks from now. Student loan payments soon needing to begin. A huge move. Unexpected news. Screw balls thrown left and right really. Murphy's Law or Psychosomatic? Priorities shifting. Responsibilities? To whom? But I'm off to Hawaii for nine months. Such a move. What better way to find oneself. Than to isolate oneself with one joy and one pet peeve. The joy...costuming...the peeve...children. And of course the distance. What better way to test myself...find out if work alone truly makes me happy or if there is something else that makes me feel whole. Independent woman? Bullshit. I'm usually feel quite alone, despite those I manage to draw near and let in. It still seems I'm always saying goodbye.
Of course instead of working tonight, I went to see Two-Headed. Lucky me, this was the show I was completely responsible for. Aside from a few design choices I didn't agree with, I am proud of my work. What the designer wants and my own aesthetic are two completely different things. But draping still gives me an immense sense of satisfaction. Of control. Of creation. And a relationship with the actors that many others on the tech side of theatre do not have.
I'm thrilled to be taking on the bulk of Mrs. Warren, though the amount of work is insane. Perhaps my own personal standards are too high.
But more and more, especially recently, I find work is providing more of a diversion, a distraction. A place to focus my mind for nine plus hours of the day. I refuse to rot in front of a TV. Rather be stimulated by the problems of a particular costume. But a diversion from the problems of life nonetheless. Absence from loved ones. No housing set up for three weeks from now. Student loan payments soon needing to begin. A huge move. Unexpected news. Screw balls thrown left and right really. Murphy's Law or Psychosomatic? Priorities shifting. Responsibilities? To whom? But I'm off to Hawaii for nine months. Such a move. What better way to find oneself. Than to isolate oneself with one joy and one pet peeve. The joy...costuming...the peeve...children. And of course the distance. What better way to test myself...find out if work alone truly makes me happy or if there is something else that makes me feel whole. Independent woman? Bullshit. I'm usually feel quite alone, despite those I manage to draw near and let in. It still seems I'm always saying goodbye.
posted by Unknown at
9:08 PM
4 Comments:
"I wanted to change my direction
With my location/new destination.
Little did I know,
I didn't have to move to grow.
You can't build a house on the sand,
You need solid land/a friendly hand...
I can see it."
Alternately: I remove myself from everything that is familiar and whatever remains, however improbable, must be me.
What a gorgeous, loving piece. Full of tension, full of hope, full of apprehensions. Vulnerable yet confident. Very touching. Your words move me.
I suppose I should post a comment on here because I hate it when I don't get comments on my blog. ALthough my posts aren't as meaningful or introspective. I know what you mean about distractions though - when you have nothing to focus your time it is tempting to rot in front of the TV. - As far as the children go, I find you start out afraid of them and then they start to grow on ya! ;)
You can't get rid of me that's for sure.
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