I drink to forget but the memories stand more lucid

Ever have one of those days where every song on the radio seems to be applied directly to your current situation? Not necessarily speaking directly to you or of you, but perhaps sharing your feelings…or reflecting the other side of the scenario? But regardless the lyrics and words conjure up and define your mood. Yeah. Today was kinda like that. Only change New York City to Honolulu. And A thousand miles to 4,000. And filter out some of the anger in the other.

But this wasn't out of some sense of self-pity, narcissism or ego centrality. It dawned on me that the reason they all seem to fit...why I find myself able to relate...is because we all go through these feelings and situations at one time or another. We all feel angry, saddened, lonely, joyful to some extent or another. We've all experienced some sort of loss, pain, love or intimacy. relationships end, begin, shift. People move, transition, change. We as humans, are ultimately all the same. Though our shades and hues add a unique flavor to each situation.

An effort to purge…

Yup, diet time.

I know, I know, why the hell would I need to diet. I don’t. What I NEED to do is kick this snacking mood, cut these sugar cravings down before they cause more damage than the holidays. Too much fudge, Christmas cookies, snack mixes. Eating in cars, on planes. Grazing constantly because the food is there. Attempt to beat off these cravings as the post holiday funk beckons…warmth, comfort and joy in us, these rich, fatty, sugary foods!

So South Beach it is.

Two weeks of no sugars or starches. No fruits, rice, pasta, bread, potatoes. No junk food. No…gasp…chocolate.

But you know what…it’s not too terribly different than the way I was eating before the holidays. Short of the rice and chocolate anyway.

And it’s a good excuse to prepare more of my lunches instead of eating out three days a week. And experiment more with food at home. Experiment, huh?

For example…

Yesterday I made orange roughy with a ginger glaze. I’ve never tried cooking this fish before, let alone an oriental glaze like this. With asparagus. Mmmm veggies.

And tonight it’s rosemary balsamic chicken with roasted mushrooms and brussel sprouts. My roommate is cursing my name for making the house smell so good.

So far so good. And man does it feel good to cook food so simply. Without all of the processed crap and preservatives. I’m on day three now. With no urge to throw myself into the Ala Wai out of desperation for chocolate. And the last two days I haven’t had that grouchy, groggy mood that typically hits round about 3pm…the time of day my co-worker usually associates with Sam going completely loopy. The time of day I randomly start belting lyrics or shouting "I'm a monkey!" Nope. I'm almost sane. It's weird.

The problem I have run into…booze. I’m supposed to avoid it completely…unless cooking with it. But last night I poured maybe a 4 oz glass of white wine. With dinner. It went straight to my head. Not drunk, but man was it a rush…unfocused, dizzy in all it’s pseudo-drunken glory. Alcohol=one of the simplest sugars out there. Especially beer. Bye-buh. So gin and vodka it is.

Four ounces. I’m going to be a VERY cheap date.