Pleasant yet unexpected news

Today I received some very exciting news of a once very dear friend.  News long in coming and just now finally happening.  I learned, as most of us do these days, through social media.  Long dead are the days of phones calls and letters....

I am incredibly happy for this perosn, and yet...I don't know.

I suspect weeks of over work are slowing and muddling my ability to process things.  Not enough down time.  Over tired.  Sore.  Cranky.  Pertetually cranky.

But I am geniuninly enthusitstic about this news.

Or am I just trying to fool myself.

Time is an odd companion.  As friendships drift and change so do our perceptions of what once was.  Time has not been kind to my memories.  The hardships.  The harsh words.  The self doubt and loathing.  The anger and sadness.  That is what sticks with me the most.  Unfairly so. 

Why, after so many years can I not recall the small pleasant moments?  I do.  Occasionally.  Small gestures.  A cup of chicken noodle soup in a dorm room.  Long summer car rides through Wisconsin greenery.  That wonderful night before a strike when we both took a chance.  That wonderful night.  That I do remember. 

But I feel as though I am grasping at straws to dig up and preserve those memories as sand continues to pour in around my finger tips.  Wearing away the finer details.  Numbing my finger tips.  Burying the memories all over again.  I've become weary of digging.  With time and distance.  With the parting of ways...I no longer have the energy.  The sand rubs me raw.  I don't know what else to do but let the memories go.

Probably for the best.

Congratulations, from the bottom of my heart.