Faceless trust
Sick. Just sick.
A girl commits suicide, supposedly heavily motivated by a break up with a "friend" on myspace...an individual she never met...one who was the fabrication of someone else.
This is a terribly tragedy. That this girl trusted the hand reached out to her. That this "person" managed to become so valued in her eyes...someone she'd never met...that weeks into this friendship he turned and his hurtful words, postings, emails influenced her suicide. That those who created him could be so cruel to shame and berate her...flaming her publicly across the internet using this pseudonym, this fake profile of someone she trusted...it's sick.
I honestly don't know where to begin...
Can anyone really be held accountable for this teen's death? We are after all only responsible for our own actions and emotions. We cannot make anyone feel sad, angry, happy. We can provide reasons for them to react that way . We can push buttons or stroke egos. We can often predict their behavior. We can influence how people feel but we cannot dictate or control it.
Unless they give up that control. Unless their value of self is so tied up with what another person thinks. That binding of self to another's opinion...dangerous. And when that other person is let down, disappointed in you...esteem plunges. Self pity. Loathing. Sometimes it turns around for the better...a need for the person to prove themselves...maybe that means falling deeper into the power play with the other person...changing yourself to appease them...win them back. Hopefully the turn around stems from a need to better themselves for themselves...that the other person's opinion is not worth feeling like crap when you "fail" them.
But her death is not so simple as that. Her depression is a huge factor. Her sadness no doubt a motivating factor for all she did...for her need to trust someone in the first place...maybe find a kindred. Particularly at her age.
At 13...isn't a crush the world to you? So many changes, confusions, pressures. Hormones raging. New emotions stirring...strength in an anger you never felt before and over the most minuscule thing. Profundity to a sadness you never knew possible. A deeper sense of pride and a chaotic sense of doubt. Changing body. Uncertainty. A need to cling to something. A need to make friends. To make some sense out of the world that seems to pull the rug out from under you on a daily basis. Parents no longer seem to care. A fierce argument. Doors slamming, tears split. Everything heightened. Every thing's suddenly so important. As if the fate of the world hinges on the smallest choice. And the same time, realizing your own humility...you're just a kid. But growing into an adult. And scared about it.
And it turns out she could not even trust someone person that she valued. That her crush turned out to be a mother. A mother who created an account to see what this girl might have been saying about her daughter online. But taking it beyond spying...creating a relationships with this girl to crush it later. And then taking it for a cruel twist further...beginning to say things about this girl...mother doing exactly what she suspected the girl to be doing in the first place. Why toy so thoroughly with someone's mind? Why so cruel? Did it make them feel more powerful? Did she and the others behind the profile get some sick satisfaction in fooling with the emotions of a THIRTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL! Bullies. Sadists. But killers? Oh for a sharp change of color...a visible line to cross in this gradient world of grey.
A girl commits suicide, supposedly heavily motivated by a break up with a "friend" on myspace...an individual she never met...one who was the fabrication of someone else.
This is a terribly tragedy. That this girl trusted the hand reached out to her. That this "person" managed to become so valued in her eyes...someone she'd never met...that weeks into this friendship he turned and his hurtful words, postings, emails influenced her suicide. That those who created him could be so cruel to shame and berate her...flaming her publicly across the internet using this pseudonym, this fake profile of someone she trusted...it's sick.
I honestly don't know where to begin...
Can anyone really be held accountable for this teen's death? We are after all only responsible for our own actions and emotions. We cannot make anyone feel sad, angry, happy. We can provide reasons for them to react that way . We can push buttons or stroke egos. We can often predict their behavior. We can influence how people feel but we cannot dictate or control it.
Unless they give up that control. Unless their value of self is so tied up with what another person thinks. That binding of self to another's opinion...dangerous. And when that other person is let down, disappointed in you...esteem plunges. Self pity. Loathing. Sometimes it turns around for the better...a need for the person to prove themselves...maybe that means falling deeper into the power play with the other person...changing yourself to appease them...win them back. Hopefully the turn around stems from a need to better themselves for themselves...that the other person's opinion is not worth feeling like crap when you "fail" them.
But her death is not so simple as that. Her depression is a huge factor. Her sadness no doubt a motivating factor for all she did...for her need to trust someone in the first place...maybe find a kindred. Particularly at her age.
At 13...isn't a crush the world to you? So many changes, confusions, pressures. Hormones raging. New emotions stirring...strength in an anger you never felt before and over the most minuscule thing. Profundity to a sadness you never knew possible. A deeper sense of pride and a chaotic sense of doubt. Changing body. Uncertainty. A need to cling to something. A need to make friends. To make some sense out of the world that seems to pull the rug out from under you on a daily basis. Parents no longer seem to care. A fierce argument. Doors slamming, tears split. Everything heightened. Every thing's suddenly so important. As if the fate of the world hinges on the smallest choice. And the same time, realizing your own humility...you're just a kid. But growing into an adult. And scared about it.
And it turns out she could not even trust someone person that she valued. That her crush turned out to be a mother. A mother who created an account to see what this girl might have been saying about her daughter online. But taking it beyond spying...creating a relationships with this girl to crush it later. And then taking it for a cruel twist further...beginning to say things about this girl...mother doing exactly what she suspected the girl to be doing in the first place. Why toy so thoroughly with someone's mind? Why so cruel? Did it make them feel more powerful? Did she and the others behind the profile get some sick satisfaction in fooling with the emotions of a THIRTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL! Bullies. Sadists. But killers? Oh for a sharp change of color...a visible line to cross in this gradient world of grey.
Labels: misc
posted by Unknown at
3:42 PM
1 Comments:
Yeah, I read that article too and I prayed for the girl's parents yet it's so bad you almost don't believe it. It's like something out of a story. That a mother would go on Myspace to gain the girl's trust to learn what she was saying about her daughter on the internet. Other people - including the creator's daughter had access to the account. But why choose, even if you've been mistreated by a former friend to slam them on the internet. Especially if they have mental illnesses. Teenagers are so scary. How did we ever survive. You wonder how many cases like these are cries for help that go bad because at that age can you really understand the finality and pain your bringing to others by ending your own life. I guess do we ever?
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