Drowning in my own lethargy

I do not do well with down time. I am a person of many achievements and high standards, but given huge amounts of time with no tasks at hand and I become cranky, irritable and quite honestly, depressed.

I had such high hopes for these three weeks off too. Thank you notes to finish. Baking. Lots of baking. I had a goal of at least one bread and one dessert a week. If pies and crusts count...I suppose that's not a complete loss. A wedding album to assemble. Christmas gifts to make, shop or wrap. And the loftiest...one project a day...jewelry, gloves, beaded scarfs, hand painted glass ornaments, dying, knitting, crocheting, sewing...those piles of personal projects long held at bay due to more pressing deadlines...moves, jobs, a wedding...

I could have easily crafted enough product in the last two weeks to start up my etsy store...but no...

The only real excuses I have for the lack of productivity is an insufficient work space (but that only holds true for the larger projects) and a sewing machine in desperate need of a tune up. And even that is easily remedied...a repair shop is in the same shopping area as Ross' work, yet I still haven't dragged the machine out of the closet to have him drop it off.

Why the lethargy? Why the inactivity? Yes, breaks are needed. To alleviate stress. To rest. To recoup. But I sit at home and do nothing. With no guidance it becomes a battle to even drag myself out for a walk while the sun is still out. I can barely even sit at read. I revert to sleeping or spending mindless hours in front of my computer screen.

I hate this mopey inactivity. I hate not feeling productive. But that self loathing usually isn't even enough to motivate me to action. It's a battle of wills. Sheer brainy brawn. And the laziest side is winning.

Sloth.

Yawn.

Loathe.

But then again....if I had a TV, how would this three week bout of brainlessness differ from the routine of any other American on a weekend night.

At least I still read most of the Sunday paper...



by Wednesday...