Big Girl, You are Beautiful!

One of the challenges of the Tempest has been the kids themselves. Not personalities or attitudes, but that teenage awkwardness they evoke as they all try to adjust to their ever-changing body types. There is one girl in particular. She is by no means a small girl. She's actually a bit large by Hawaiian standards. Large chested, large hipped and thick through the waist. And she does not look comfortable in her body.

Self-conscious and stooped. Donning tees, baggy pants, and hoodies. And the accessories of a moody alt/emo/goth girl...dark colors, arm warmers, large pewter rings, wallet chains...oh yes...all the accessories of my youth which I am very personally acquainted. She has all the makings of a mediocre actor destined to haunt SCA meetings, gaming conventions and ren faires in an attempt to fit in with her own kind. A walking stereotype of all awkward, overweight, outcast teens.

Little things could help so much...a better fitting bra, standing straighter...she needed even touch her wardrobe of homogenized individuality.

She was cast to play Juno, the goddess of goddess'

And she will be beautiful...

The Tempest

First weekend back and a return to the Tempest. In the midst of SAT's, finals and graduations I'll see very little of my assistant/minion/apprentice before we move into tech.

One added little bonus: screw costume renderings for First Friday. How about the costumes themselves. The Hawaii Theatre's Gala was held to correspond with Honolulu's night of art. And part of the Gala included 13 of the cast mingling in their costumes.


Why everyone is astounded that the costumes look like the rendering, I'm not sure. Isn't that the point of the renderings in the first place? Those aren't the art. The renderings are just tools. It's the costumes themselves that are the art.

I'm very happy.

And I'm almost done.

It's about time

Eventually I follow through....

Tempest on a Beautiful Day

Yes it is gorgeous outside. A mere 77 degrees with a cool breeze off the ocean. I'm sorry for all of you suffering from the -5 of the Midwest. I wish I could send some the the climate back to you. Unfortunately the best I can do is a lei or two and some macademia nuts. But just remember when the warm summer weather hits y'all in June, it will be sweltering and muggy here.

I spent the peak of the day indoors, unfortunately. But not unhappily. There will be time to be out and about tomorrow. As par usual for a Saturday, I met with my high school apprentice and set her about cutting swatches from our shopping excursion, adding them to the renderings, labeling fabrics and pulling what we could from the theatre's stock. Not a bad three hour's work. And she was treated with a dress rehearsal for the show about to hit the road next week.

Her enthusiasm is contagious. As we discussed our game plan for the next three weeks, she jumped on the opportunity to work on one of the pieces at home. A cape for Caliban that includes the head of a fox-like creature. Her love of cos-play shines through in moments like this. She adores the three-dimensional challenges.

In three months time she has shown herself to be in entirely different person. Bubbly, cheerful and eager. A far cry from the moody, stand-offish procrastinator she was at the beginning.

I promise at some point to get shots of the renderings up. Funny. I moved out here for the children's theatre, but get much more satisfaction from working with these kids.

Change is good

I played the part of a slacker yesterday in our final design meeting. This director is very creative, and she pushes. I just wish she'd make certain realizations sooner. Mostly relationships between characters...i.e. siblings to look like siblings, lover's costumes reflect each other. They do to an extent, but I still maintain that receiving the casting and script adaptation less than a week ago set me back. Still three good but questionable costumes out of 20 some is not so bad.

That and the lack of my preferred watercolors. Yarkas just are not the same...too vibrant. Artificial. What can I say? I like muddy, diluted colors.

Despite not having color on most of the renderings, everyone was blown away by the sketches. Practice. Practice. They'll be displayed at the Hawaii Theatre during the run of the show in May. And possibly the gallery across the street in an upcoming First Friday. If I finish painting them of course.

But I'm pleased to say I have my apprentice hooked. Her attitude has done a 180. A few months back she was threatened by the heads of the program to be removed because of a negative outlook, lack of participation and tardiness. That threat got her attention, but in the last two weeks she's suddenly come out of her shell...taking the initiative. She hated me on Saturday for making her play with watercolor. A control issue...watercolor likes to do what it wants. you can coax it. You can predict it to an extent, but it's much more organic and fluid than other paints. She prefers colored pencil. Though most young designers seem to.

Yesterday she played the intern and brought a latte to the meeting for me. Along with a lapel pin proclaiming "behind every successful person is a substantial amount of coffee." Hmmm...coffee. And she proceeded to take costumes notes during the meeting, without being coaxed to do so.

Changing the theatre world one person at a time.

This afternoon will be very telling as well...the debriefing for out first show. There were a lot of issues...director and stage manager butting heads with production manager, lack of information, tempers. There will be claws out today. My favorite part of the prep for this meeting was to "anonymously" submit all comments to the production manager (how complete anonymity is possible in such a small theatre I'm not sure). That raised heckles...very few people trust the production manager enough to allow him to be the filter for comments. And in regards to the comments:

We feel that the purpose of a debriefing is for information gathering, not necessarily about implementing change.

This theatre is excellent about talking and not doing.

Accountability--again

I am still fighting the sense of complacency and laissez-faire attitude that ensconces this island. Tomorrow evening we have a meeting for the Tempest scheduled...a final design meeting. Typically, as a professional, final designs means I lay out the last weeks' work in the form of fully rendered images...painted, labeled and presentational.

However, I am behind schedule. One of the unique aspects of this art form is the collaboration and dependence on others to complete the project. It is a group art form, each contributing to the whole. And when one part of the group slacks...the whole suffers.

This is ultimately a high school performance, though these kids are more talented than many I knew in college. Amazing when you consider the mean age of the group is 15. So adaptations to the script would be made...but the general story arc and list of characters would remain largely intact. The frustration comes in the form of cross-gender casting. This a play written with only 4 female parts...a daughter and three goddesses. In a cast of 18, two thirds of them are female. And the director said from the start that there would need for cross gender casting...and that she was opposed to drag. The gender of the actor would reflect the gender of the character. And the adaptation of the script would reflect those changes.

The problem...I did not receive a cast list nor adaptation until Thursday night. In essence I was asked to design a male and female version of most of the show from the start. Alright...that's doable. But not getting the cast until this late did not allow me to sit down with the director to fine tune the costumes. Nor did it give me enough time to move from the phase of sketches to renderings. I may be a quick watercolorist, but I do not appreciate being forced to work under such a time scrunch. I can procrastinate on my own quite well.

But in my procrastination, I'm always thinking about the problems. In this case I'm not granted that luxury.

But as usual, it will get done. And it will be fabulous.

Costume Master Class

It's amazing how quickly a Saturday goes by when you have a three hour class smack dab in the middle of it. The master class is part of the Hawaii Theatre's apprenticeship program. For once this group of kids was incredibly engaged. Without the aide of the acting ensemble they usually shell up and are very reserved. It's tough to get them to participate in talk backs after performances. They all have a tendency to be late or dress not quite appropriately to events at the theatre. The head of the program is a stickler for such things and has been toying with consequences that might put them back on track. It's the whole issue of complacency. These kids are good, they were selected from a large pile of applicants. And they have previously been able to float by. We're all trying to up the ante a little bit.

One carrot dangling is an upcoming trip backstage at the Lion King. Engaged and on their best behaviour, or they're out of the program. It's tough. But it's life.

Anyway...

The class went over really well. It's tough to decide how to distill the essence of costume design into one three hour class. We spent most of the period picking apart each others outfits and then people watching downtown. I was hoping to get them to decipher some of the basic psychology of dress...why people wear what they do. Trying to help them see what clothes can tell us about the person, from social class, age, ethnicity and environment to personality. They were a very engaged group this time around. And it was fun to see how they reacted when their peers told them what their outfits revealed about each other.

In the last hour and a half we plowed through the design process and then delved into a scene (heavily edited for content) for them to do a mini design of their own. It would have been nice to have more time to cover the art aspect of it...how to draw people and clothes...but ultimately, I was more concerned with getting them to pay more attention to the how and why of clothes.

I think they got it.

Orphans' Thanksgiving

2003
Supervising a loved one preparing the meal...resulting in a burn and scar on my right arm...and a very impressed and appreciative extended family.

2004
Road trip to Beverly MA to be adopted by the North Shore Music Theatre interns for turkey day--and the unfortunate viewing of Alexander.

2005
Rutgers graduate designers sponsor the Korean graduate's first turkey--cooked courtesy of A&P Supermarket.

2006
Rutgers Graduate designers gather a second year with friends...dinner all made from scratch this time...with much more booze.

2007
Adopted by the Hawaii Theatre for tree trimming and a more gourmet affair...and fewer familiar faces.

It's been ages since I've spent a Thanksgiving with blood relatives. But everywhere I've gone I've found a group to share a meal with. A welcome and appreciative community. A collection of fellow orphans searching for camaraderie on a day of gratitude. This year, no different. Only thousands of miles further away. And 80 degrees with cool ocean breeze. And home again by 4pm, to hit the sparsely populated beach before the sun slipped away.

And the gratitude creates a domino effect. A pie may need to be en route to someone who spent the entire day working. This is not a day nor a feeling that should be regulated to one 24 hour period. Mmmm...homemade punk'n pie...

Why has this holiday become about the food? The waste and wantonness? Gluttony instead of gratitude? What about stuffing our faces beyond the point of consciousness expresses our thankfulness? Even the churches seem to focus on the material...many not even offering a service today. Gathering to share a meal, celebrate abundance, need not obscenely explode beyond the bounds of moderation. Oh to be with family again...any family...

But everywhere I go. There you are.

Thank you all.

More Music

Mark your calendars...From the Top will be broadcasted "live" from the Hawaii Theatre in downtown Honolulu on January 19th, 2008. I find it amusing that live performances are not broadcasted until months later...

What an extremely talented group of kids. It brought back terrifying memories of auditioning for the Milwaukee Youth Symphony Orchestra back in middle school. I was particularly struck by the pianist and his performance of Prokofiev's Tocatta in D minor, Op 11. Of course since first listening to the ballet of Romeo and Juliet, Prokofiev has become one of my favorite composers (though Mozart's Requiem...specifically Dies Irae...will always hold a dear and macabre place in my heart).

But there was a general sense of complacency among all the the Hawaiian musicians. A sense that what they offer is astounding and good enough so why should they strive to be better? A lack of drive. And yes they are amazing...but they were so laissez-faire about their gifts compared to the two imported from the mainland.

I'm terrified of that sense of complacency. I am very quickly learning what a small pool of talent is on this island. I am a very big fish in a very small pond in the middle of an enormous ocean. Word spreads quickly and at times it seems as if the minimal effort is more than acceptable.

That is the struggle the head of the theatre apprenticeship program is facing at the moment. These kids are hot shit. They are the cream of the crop. But they know it too well and find little motivation to push themselves further. Because of the lack of comparison. Because of the lack of competition. Because they find no need to impress. They already have the attention of everyone worth impressing.

Push! Push! Push! I'm too much of a slacker and procrastinator myself to let these kids fall into the same bad habits. If nothing else...the attitude of the local musicians strengthen my resolve to NOT cut these kids any slack.

Argh!

And now with a cold creeping back (or is the bronchitis from three weeks ago just getting worse?) I'm looking forward to a day COMPLETELY to myself. No meetings. No work. No concerts. No wine bar. No dinner parties. No one but me. A full day in bed with a book. Between work, extra projects and the socializing (all of which I enjoy) I've had little down time. And my mind feels a bit scattered and unfocused as a result. It's been almost two weeks since I've truly had any time to myself. I have a desperate need to defragment my mental hard drive.

The Sound of Silence

In all actuality, this evening was hardly a night of silence (though when someone is truly in tune to their surroundings silence is not to be had...). With so many notes...the silence becomes so much more astounding...

One of the perks of the high school theatre program is attendance at a variety of events at the Hawaii Theatre. Tonight was a little taste of home. Andreas Delfs, music director of the Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra, conducted the Honolulu Symphony. I remember encountering his grandiose and entertaining style back in high school. The program included Schumann's Overture, Scherzo and Finale; Chopin's Piano Concerto No. 2; and Beethoven's Symphony No. 1. I will not pretend to be knowledgeable in the artistry of these performers. Musical critique is not my forte. But it was a marvelous performance, despite being housed in a venue outfitted for theatrical performances, not orchestras. They did incredibly well within the acoustical shortcomings of the space.

The music was very touching. Expressive. And energetically performed. But what I found more astounding was the moment. Any artistic expression, particularly those that are performance based, depends so heavily upon being engaged in the moment...living in the moment. Perhaps that is what pulls me to the arts so strongly.

Living in the moment is not about being moved to actions through impulse, nor being ruled by emotion. Quite the contrary. I find living in the moment less about action and more about observation. About being engaged in the task at hand. About absorbing all of the sights, sounds, smells and textures around. About being engaged with yourself...your physical presence and state of mind...as it all unfolds around you. To address emotions and thoughts as they happen instead of suppressing them. To speak up as events unfold instead of letting them be part of the past to dredge up later. Taking it all in. And being ruled by the sum of the whole....as opposed to the occasional and isolated rashness of an impulse. Yet another reason why modeling is so appealing to me I suppose. The engagement. The stimulation.

And it is not easy. We all drift, zone out. Dwell or daydream. Neither inappropriate. I do love daydreaming when the situation allows...those sweet moments of decompression and refelction. I'm quite fond of thinking about what to prepare for dinner during the mid-morning lull at work. Or speculate on an email to a friend I hope to later have time to compose. But if I am to be engulfed in the past, the present or the furture...I'd rather face the moments as they come and live in the now. Reflection...an oddity of all three. None of these moments can exist fully exist without the others. One does need time to reflect. Sometimes I'm afraid we continuously push our own points of view without giving another time to digest the first. Without giving the other time to acknowledge. Faced with an avalanche...who doesn't want to barricade ones self from time to time.

Tonight, watching the musicians...so incredibly engaged in the music. So intensely focused on their part...while completely attune to their fellow musicians and the conductor. Taking cues off of each other. Listening. Following the subtleties and nuances (and out right theatrical gestures of this particular Maestro) within the pieces. The facial expressions, body language, movement...all engrossed in the moment of creating this piece of art. Should their minds wander towards what upcoming schedules should be...the fears, joys and hopes of forward thinking....or should they dwell on the past...a missed noted or personal grievance...they will misstep in the present. There would be unintended dissonances in the piece. And that broken chord serves as its own punishment...they will strive to stay within the music. There is no tuning out.

Many actors will express similar sentiments or encounter training methods familiar with this notion...a need to be aware of not only their lines...the emotions they portray...but also a need to be present in their physical body...to be engaged in their scene partner so their reactions have some grounding...and aware of how engaged the audience is in return. An actor engaged in the moment does draw us into the scene even more do they not...it makes the acting more believable.

And I found myself taking it all in as well. The glimmer of the gilded proscenium. The fluid teal fabric of the soloist's dress. The warmth of the stings reverberating throughout the theatre. The smell of perfumes and clean sweat of the audience around me. The theatricality of Andreas' conducting. Cecile Licad's quiet mouthing of the notes as the piano issued them at her fingers command. And her intense expression...bobbing head. The mummer of woodwind and brass against the stings. The coolness of the air conditioning.

But there are levels within the awareness...levels to which you do engage....one cannot physically absorb all things all the time...but then how do you select what is important at the time? The visual? The audible? Sometimes only the emotional...

At times to focus on the music I found myself needing to shut my eyes...limit the amount of stimulation I let in. In order to appreciate one aspect of the evening more fully. So I could relish the emotions and thoughts that the music evoked. Selective hearing? Of course. It was a symphony...to hear was why I was there...

And I kick myself for letting myself fall out of the moment at times. And miss out on this piece of art...the performance...the musicians' pouring themselves into this expressive form. Disengaging because I let my mind linger on issues in the past that ultimately are not my problem. Because I began to speculate on future actions I may take.

And in those instances when I tuned out...I missed out on the opportunity...missed out on the entire reason I was there in the first place. And those notes will not be savored.

Too much wine...

Over the course of the week I have probably consumed close to three bottles of wine....mostly shiraz. I've been out three nights this week, twice with co-workers, once at a Dia De Los Muertos party. Oof. No more. I'm certainly paying for it today. Of all the hangovers to have...red wine is the worst. And of course it brought back bouts of insomnia.

But class with my one student went well today. Tis hard to fill a full three hours with one girl. But we made due. It's a shame the other had to drop out. I'm very pleased with the Tempest designs so far. It feels, at least at this point, like nothing I've done yet. But it reeks of my style. Tuesday is our preliminary design meeting. I'm chomping at the bit to prep these sketches to paint. The children's theatre may offer some sense of fulfillment in that I feel it is theatre with a definite purpose. This project is satisfying the artist in me. That and it'll be fun making these clothes. Especially considering the one girl I still mentor is a huge geek...cos-play costumes and all.

And the rest of the day spent recovering from First Friday (the galleries were disappointing this time around). And playing text message tag with someone who decided to drink their troubles away at 3 in the afternoon. "Hold me closer tiny dancer?" Oh if only you would really let me. But I'm a terrible dancer. I may accidentally tread on your heart.